DEAR ALEXANDER: A Listener Asks About Cardell.
DESCRIPTION
In this heart-forward installment of Dear Alexander, Blue Feather responds to a soul sibling’s question: What stories do you remember of your dad, Cardell, and what’s helping you now in the midst of grief?
What unfolds is part tribute, part time-travel, and full embodiment of what it means to grieve with depth and beauty. From fire poles and Lake Powell to sleeping beneath stars and sneaking HBO glances in the ‘90s, Alexander shares radiant memories of a father’s devotion. We end with a sacred offering: the first time Alexander returned to the piano after Cardell’s death, playing a live version of “Waking Blue.”
With grief as teacher and Francis Weller’s The Wild Edge of Sorrow as guide, this is a field guide to remembering, breaking open, and blooming.
This is part of the Dear Alexander series: where spiritual correspondence meets queer Dear Abby, with a piano in the background and a splash of watercolor. Listeners from around the world send in questions, insights, heartbreaks, and aha moments. If you’d like to share what’s stirring in you get started now.
Let’s keep asking brave questions. Let’s keep listening for the music that answers back.
SUMMARY
In this episode of Dear Alexander, we gather around the fire with Alexander Blue Feather for a soulful reflection on grief, memory, and healing. Responding to a listener's heartfelt question about his father Cardell—who passed away in February—Alexander weaves together vivid stories of childhood summers at Lake Powell, long drives from Utah to Southern California, and the tender evolution of his relationship with his father during their retreat work in Kauai.
But this isn't just memory for memory’s sake, it's a practice of sacred remembrance. Alexander explores what has been helping him in this season of sorrow: the teachings of Francis Weller, the poetry of Andrea Gibson, and the hard-won wisdom that surrender is the first step toward healing. The episode closes with a special audio treasure: a raw, intimate piano recording of the first time he sat down to play “Waking Bloom” after Cardell's death.
This is a love letter to the ones we've lost and the ones we've become in their absence.
KEY POINTS
Introduction to Dear Alexander: a space for spiritual Q&A with storytelling, music, and reflection.
Listener question prompts memories of Cardell and grief support practices.
Vivid stories from Alexander’s childhood: Lake Powell trips, a fire pole in a dream house, and cross-state moves.
Reflections on Cardell’s howling in his sleep—a funny, haunting family memory now shared at his celebration of life.
Life in Kauai: co-facilitating retreats with Cardell and Linn, and claiming the name “Alexander.”
The healing power of books, especially Francis Weller’s The Wild Edge of Sorrow.
Grief as alchemical transformation—from adolescent stories into the fuller terrain of adulthood.
The inward practice of surrender and the medicine of routine: sketching, journaling, meditation, piano.
Honoring Andrea Gibson’s recent passing and their poetic courage facing terminal illness.
Episode closes with a piano track recorded March 22, 2025—one month after Cardell’s passing.
TAKEAWAYS
Grieving invites you to remember richly—through stories, place, and song.
Memory is sacred—each detail, no matter how quirky or quiet, becomes a thread in the tapestry of love.
The tools that help us through grief are both universal (poetry, ritual, music) and personal (your journal, your sketchpad, your breath).
Surrender is not defeat—it’s a brave turning toward what is.
Grief is not linear. It's a tide, a howl, a bloom, and a return to love.
Community is essential, even when it’s hard to reach out. Your healing is not meant to be a solo act.
Every elder was once grieving. Every healer once broke open. You’re on sacred ground.
